Are You Frustrated Over Crochet Terms?

TX CrochetLover · Are You Frustrated Over Crochet Terms?

I got this off another group, I thought ya'll might get a giggle out of it!

Pattern: A set of written instructions that may or may not result in
creating the object in the picture. Most patterns include a list of
supplies, but this is for your amusement only. After all, Amazonian Rhesus
yarn in smoky turquoise does not exist, and cannot be obtained. Patterns
also have fun-to-do math problems, such as 1 dc in next 7 dc (34 dc made).?!

Yo: Yarn Over, meaning you need to wrap your yarn over your hook. Of course,
this assumes the yarn doesn't split, fray or tangle. If this happens, yo
then stands for, "Yell Outrageously. "

Dtrtrc: Double-treble- treble-crochet. This is a stitch where you yo four
zillion times, insert hook in stitch and pull through the next two loops,
repeating until all loops are off the hook, or until the end! of time,
whichever comes first.

Reverse sc: This stitch is the lefty's revenge on all of us righties-for
once we have to work backwards, too!

Catalog: A dangerous device that hypnotizes crocheters. It lulls them into a
catatonic state, causing them to spend the family's grocery money on
patterns and yarn. It may also be an evil plot to cause the downfall of the
American economy.

Hook: A device permanently attached to a crocheter's hand. It is also
connected to her blood supply, and if for some reason it becomes dislodged
from her hand, she breaks into a sweat and starts to feel faint. If the hook
cannot be immediately replaced, the only valid substitute is a catalog (see
above).

Yarn: The only reason sheep farms still exist! It's also what crocheters buy
when they have money; if there's any cash left over, they buy food and
clothes.

Doily: This seemingly innocent item looks like a table protector, but if
someone actually tries to put a wet glass or an ashtray on it, the creator
will instantly turn into a snarling Doberman. Use doilies at your own peril.

Cat: A non-mechanical device used for unraveling afghans, unwinding skeins
and keeping one's lap warm. A cat requires daily maintenance in the form of
light stroking.

Dog: Another non-mechanical device that is used for chasing down balls of
yarn and putting tooth-mark engravings in wooden hooks. It's a
high-maintenance item that does not store easily.

Baby: A valid excuse to crochet something.

Housework: An ancient rite that was performed by some B.C. women (Before
Crochet). Historians believe it may have had something to do with a device
called a "vacuum cleaner," which was kept in closets now occupied by yarn.

Miss Kitty

Yep, Yep, Yep, I agree with everything!!

JazzRizz

True . . . so true!

Thanks for the giggle!

The only thing missing is Pattern downloads/print outs (it's a wonder I'm not buried under the stack I have) & online yarn shops (a definite hazzard to my checkbook

)!

LadySnow

All too true. :D

vernzap

Thanks for the laugh.

I have been known to get on to my kids (and husband) for using my doilies as coasters.

Colyak Crocheter

Tooooo Funny!