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PhoenixTears62
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Prayers pleaseI need advice and prayers please. My daughter is 13 and will be 14 in April. I just found out she has been what they call dating online with an 18 year old. This is online not real life. She told me he wants to come and see her this summer. I am beside myself. I don't want to make a total big deal about it and drive her away. I just don't know what to do. I am fixing to go out with my husband and talk it over. Please pray for her and us. My first reaction is to cut off her phone and internet. Thanks ladies.
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LadyHhere
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well I am the world's worst mother.... but first off I would have the program that you can lock out sites like that. Is her puter in her bedroom? not a good place for it. YOU are the parents, put it in living area, neatly to be used for homework or visiting with her friends from school, but where you can see occasionally what she is doing & where.
How does she know he is 19? Hasn't she heard about the men well yes but at 14 they don't believe it will happen to them. She is too young for more than group dating, so go over your rules with her again (quietly, nicely but firmly). Then tell her yes he can visit 1. he stays in a motel (at his expense) 2. He can visit her in the home with Mom or Dad (or both) there 3. No she cannot go out to a movie or whatever with him. Make the conditions solid, and then IF he is 19 & IF he shows up with those conditions..... take it from there.
Yes, prayer for her & you & your husband.... having internet for homework etc. is fine but there are too many other things that can pop up or they can find. Explain that dating sites etc are not all they are meant to be. All you can do is try, it is so hard now days when they teach children to dress so adult, and teach them about sneaking out & all kinds of stuff.
My heart goes out to you and I will ask the Lord to have some of Michael's warrior angels come to keep your daughter & your home safe.
Good luck.... and blessed be ~ ~ ~
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Kahud48
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| LadyHhere wrote: | well I am the world's worst mother.... but first off I would have the program that you can lock out sites like that. Is her puter in her bedroom? not a good place for it. YOU are the parents, put it in living area, neatly to be used for homework or visiting with her friends from school, but where you can see occasionally what she is doing & where.
How does she know he is 19? Hasn't she heard about the men well yes but at 14 they don't believe it will happen to them. She is too young for more than group dating, so go over your rules with her again (quietly, nicely but firmly). Then tell her yes he can visit 1. he stays in a motel (at his expense) 2. He can visit her in the home with Mom or Dad (or both) there 3. No she cannot go out to a movie or whatever with him. Make the conditions solid, and then IF he is 19 & IF he shows up with those conditions..... take it from there.
Yes, prayer for her & you & your husband.... having internet for homework etc. is fine but there are too many other things that can pop up or they can find. Explain that dating sites etc are not all they are meant to be. All you can do is try, it is so hard now days when they teach children to dress so adult, and teach them about sneaking out & all kinds of stuff.
My heart goes out to you and I will ask the Lord to have some of Michael's warrior angels come to keep your daughter & your home safe.
Good luck.... and blessed be ~ ~ ~ |
I agree totally with everything Marsha said. I would just do my best
(and do not change or second guess yourself, stick to your guns) to
tell her again just what is expected of her and what she can and can not do at her age. I know it's hard, but you have got to do it anyway. They will hate you but trust me, it's just them being mad at you is all. Your children will never hate you, they just try to make you feel bad is all
whenever they dislike what you set out for them as the rules they must live by. It is only for their best, trust in that and never waiver.
I will keep you in my prayers and your DD, hang in there, and just be up front and honest with her. She will appreciate it so much more when she gets older than you will ever know 
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Miss Kitty
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A girl at DGD school was doing the same thing. This guy was spose to be 17. They were going to meet at the mall. Just him and her. Well, it turned out to be a 43 year old guy that tried to take her from the parking lot.
And better for the girl that the Mall Security was driving by and the guy took off..
Not trying to scare you by you never know what you get with online dating..
Will keep you and your DD in our prayers..
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PhoenixTears62
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Thanks everyone for your help. The computer is in the living room and I do check but I guess they find ways around that. Thank you for your prayers and all they sure are precious to me.
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crochetbycharlene
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Prayers. My kid's computer is right next to mine.
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TX CrochetLover
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Hey Peggy, my son met a girl by text and they thought they were in love! It is several months til summer. Probably it will blow over by then. I made a big deal about this Phone dating and it just made him secretive. I learned to not jump in there with my panic mode in full swing. I would casually say, "Hey, are there pics of him?" As for him coming to see her in the summer, just as casually say<' That's a while away. We'll play it by ear. In the meantime, make sure you don't give him our phone number or tell him where you live just for now."
Once I didn't freak every time the boys relayed things, they started to tell me more.
In the end, you have to protect her from online predators, as you well know that are out there. But if he is a real guy who is 18, he should be willing to tell more about himself. Just my 2 cents
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mythunderbird
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you should be able to contact the administrator of the place she is chatting with him and makehe says but odds are that it is not, you should have a police officer talk to her about it , there are so many online preditors out there i would not worry about alianating her but protecting her. my cousins dd did the same thing then snuck off to meet the guy was suppose to be 16 was a registered sex offender even if they show you a pic how do you know its truly the guy? i would make her aware of that for sure
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Froggy
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Prayers for your daughter and for you and hubby!
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PhoenixTears62
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Thank you everyone for your advie and prayers. I am kalmed down about it and realize it will pass. He doesn't have the money to travel anyway so I am not so worried. I have talked to him and his brothers on the kam. He seems like a nie boy.
Sorry my "see" letter don't work.
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TX CrochetLover
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Oh Peggy, I was wondering what happened to your spelling! LOL! I cracked up when I got to the part about the letter C. Really got me rolling!
Glad things have calmed down.
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PhoenixTears62
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LOL yes I need a new key board for sure. Thanks for replying:) Hugs tons.
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