Update from an old Maniac.

sk1tt135 · Update from an old Maniac.

Hi, guys I know you haven't seen me in a while.

Just thought I'd give an update on how my life is going.

And also ask for prayers for my brother. He is having a hard time. Normally he's the class clown type. Trying to get everyone to laugh and generally just a happy kid but lately he's been depressed and I'm really worried about him. He's getting help at a local institution during the day, just started going there today actually. So I pray for a quick and through recovery on his part but also a lasting one. So he won't go back to feeling depressed like this. =/.

My sister, Jennifer overall is being a jerk. But I think it's just that we're all stressed out and that she's taking it out on everyone else. Which isn't a good thing because then people just think she's being a mean person but she wasn't always this way.

My mom is struggling with not really knowing what's going on with my brother but at the same time she just got a bit of a promotion so she's happy about that..

And I got a job working at a local school as a preschool teacher after school. I'm happy that we were able to work it out that they pick me up directly after school on a bus with another kid that works there, who I'm becoming close friends with because he's in my psych class and I also work with him.

I'm starting to worry about next year but I find solace in the fact that I am probably going to get the Hope scholarship which will pay for most if not all of my first 2 years. Not really sure about the rest of it, I need to check with my school counselor...

In my free time I'm been hanging out with Jordan, who I've been with for a little over 2 years now. I'm just playing video games and kinda making friends and talking to people on the side. (scary) I'm talking with my counselor next time I go about social anxiety but anyway.

I've been taking better control of my Diabetes or at least trying to checking more and changing my site out more often(if anyone knows what that means.) and on that note I'm going to go..

Seeya.
<3 Jessie

gwenyvarr

Jessie...I know what it's like to live with a dysfunctional family for sure, so I'm sending you another set of

I'm here if ya need me...

Shannan

jchllm

Hi Jessie, been a long time!!

Sounds like things are going better for you.

So glad to hear that. I hope they keep getting better and better for you.

The scholarship stuff is fantastic!! My daughter is a senior in high school and we're worrying about how to pay for college so having a scholarship is awesome!! Way to go!!

Take care

Miss Kitty

Hey Jessie,
Good to hear from you...
Glad things are a little better for you..
Hope to hear from you more often, girl...

JazzRizz

I'm glad you posted an update. . .

I was just thinking about you the other day.

Glad to hear about your scholarship & job. Sounds like things are starting to look up.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother's depression. Hopefully, things will turn around for him.

sk1tt135

Wow, didn't expect so many replies so fast. =]. Thanks guys. I'm having a difficult time with my blood sugar's being all outta whack recently. I went to the doctor and she changed my basal rates, which is the amount of insulin I get automatically no matter what I do and now my blood sugar's are running really low and I've been asking my mom to call them but so far, no dice.

Thanks for all the nice comments guys. ^_^.
<3 Jes.

coolhckeymom

I hope things go well with your brother, it is hard to see someone you love hurting that way. Congrats on the schooling, we all need a step up and it sounds like you have one.

TX CrochetLover

Hey there! Nice to see you are back to posting! Life just does take it out of you sometimes, but know the maniacs are here for you!

mythunderbird

hey jess am so glad to hear from you, will pray for your brother as well as your sis and of course you and your mom. glad things are a little better

Kahud48

Hey there Jesse, it is so good to see you back in here hun

We sure have missed you kiddo, and wondered how you were doing these days.
It is so good to see that things are beginning to look up for you,
and congrats on the job

it's about time you got a break and
could begin to find that smile inside of you again

I will keep your brother in my prayers and you and your family too

sk1tt135

Hey guys again, just checking in to see how everyone's doing. Things are still hard at home but I imagine that's not going to change everyone's just so stressed out that anytime I try to say something to make the situation better or help out they snap at me and tell me they're doing everything possible.

I finally feel like I have a reason to smile, I'm still with Jordan and everything but that's not my only reason to smile anymore. At work I have a bunch of the little kids that I play with and it's my job to look after them but we pretend and run around and everything's alright when I'm there and sometimes other kids get hurt and I have to go deal with tha for a while because out of the 5+ teachers out there I'm the only one that walks around and watches the kids. Seems like the others just socialize... Whatever it's not my place to say whether or not they're doing their jobs..

Since I'm the only other person in the house that has a job, or even has made an effort to get one, I'm seeing myself more and more often paying for the food that comes into my house and even last week I paid some of the bills fo my mom, I can tell it's really hard on her and I've suggested that we not eat out because we do that alot to avoid cooking. I've even told her that I wouldn't mind cooking since it's my money she buys most of the food with anyway. And I'm taking a cooking class in school.

Just looking forward to next year when I can get out of the house sometimes and go to class, and if all goes according to plan I'll be living with Jordan's family, instead of my own, I feel like I'm trapped in my house, and I just don't feel like anyone there cares about me, although I know that's bull and they do, I just don't feel it most of the time, no one shows it anymore.

Sorry for the long update just trying to get some stuff of my chest,
See ya around guys..
x3 Jessie.

terithread

Hi, Jessie. We haven't met since I'm fairly new on CM, but I moderate this topic. Your family will be in my prayers, especially your brother and sister. Hope things start going smoother with them. God bless! Teri

sk1tt135

Thanks guys for thinking about me and my family, it means a lot to me.

Right now school and everything to go along with it is what's got me stressed, I've been going to school you know doing good, making straight A's mostly.. And I have the hope scholarship I just wish I had someone to help me know what to make of all this that's going to happen next year, I need to know that what I'm wanting to do is going to turn out okay, like I don't want to go to some big college campus and live there and all that.

But my mom's been lecturing me and getting her friends to try to convince me that it would be fun and that it would be a great experience and it might be but I just don't think it's me, it doesn't fit, like I just want to do things to make it easy, like living with Jordan's family next year and hopefully soon I'll be getting a car, buying it myself of course.. I want to know that it's okay, you don't have to go to the greatest most expensive school, everything turns out okay anyway.

I dunno, I just wish people that are telling me to act like an adult would leave me alone and let me do it. They tell me to make my own decisions but then they lecture me how everything I'm wanting to do isn't right or something... =/.

Anyway it's time for me to sleep... I'll check back later..
x3, Jessie.

mythunderbird

hi jessie, honey i know how hard it is for you. and your right, people are telling you your a adult you need to make desicions, then run over your feelings and don;t LET you make those decisions. you can go to a 2 year school get your AA and then transfer to a 4 year if the career you chose requires it, not all jobs require a 4 year degree, and actually going to a community college would save you money and then you would have the money for books and such.thats what my kids did. went to community for 2 years then lon went on to his bachalors and then his masters where kristy stopped at having her AA. and she is making pretty good money now being front end manager at joanns. what it is about is what JESSIE wants not what anyone else wants so hang in there, im sure they are just trying to help but you are old enough to decide what you want to do, whats the point of going to a big 4 year school if your not enjoying yourself and don't Want to live in a dorm. my kids didn't isn't required for you to get a degree is part of alot of kids lives but not everyones. hang in there and i want you to know i am so proud of you. even though have not been around alot i still think about you and love you. i need you to send me your email addy again cause the one i have it comes back as wrong so please do that for me. love you baby girl come chat with me kk

sk1tt135

Just checking back in... My dad quit his job for some unknown reason and no once again I have no insurance for a little while. My mom's trying to get us on her insurance to make us be able to go to the doctor and stuff. But I seriously need to get on some kind of medicine.. I feel like I'm going crazy.. I've been having anxiety problems lately. And like I'll start crying for no reason, or like something that really shouldn't matter does matter to me and I worry constantly about things that shouldn't worry me... =/
I've been cross stitching lately, but I messed it up and I'm afraid I might run out of the color thread I need to be using. Anyway, I'm at school so I gotta go. See ya guys later.